


Syllogism

by thesometimeswarrior



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Episode: s02e25 Message Received, Episode: s05e02 The Trial, Episode: s05e23-24 Reunited, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, Pre-Canon, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-26 04:08:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17134670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesometimeswarrior/pseuds/thesometimeswarrior
Summary: She explodes out of the ship snarling and already jolting, blasting all the Gems (all thein-tactGems) in sight, destabilizing and disincorporating whichever of them don’t shatter on the spot, and, as such, there is no one except her Pearl to hear her guttural cry.It takes Yellow Diamond millennia—and a maze of logic and projection—to process her grief.





	Syllogism

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Monochromely](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Monochromely/gifts).



> Prompt: A Diamond + Grief
> 
> (Written for a holiday fic exchange with the wonderful Monochromley!)

She explodes out of the ship snarling and already jolting, blasting all the Gems (all the _in-tact_ Gems) in sight, destabilizing and disincorporating whichever of them don’t shatter on the spot, and, as such, there is no one except her Pearl to hear her guttural cry.

 _Pink!_

Pink’s shards—her _shards!_ —are scattered on the ground of this disgusting planet, desecrated by the dust and the mud, by the fact that they’re interspersed with the shards and Gemstones of these defective lesser Gems who’d existed only to protect her and couldn’t even manage _that_ , desecrated by the hands of that grubby Ruby who’d been cradling one of them, sobbing, when Yellow had arrived.

How _dare_ that Ruby! A lowly solider, a defective, failed, _useless_ solider have the audacity to _touch_ a Diamond ( _part of a Diamond, a shattered fragment of a Diamond_ ). Especially the Diamond she failed to protect!

It can’t stand. Yellow reaches for the Ruby’s Gemstone, shatters it in her hands with a grunt and drops the remains.

More shards to litter Pink’s final—to litter _this_ place. Wonderful.

“Pearl!” Yellow barks.

Her Pearl slinks out of the ship, eyes widening as she sees the scene laid out before her. “Y-Yes, my Diamond?”

“Clean this up.”

“My Diamond?”

“The shards of these useless Gems. Get them out of my sight.”

There is the slightest hesitation, but then her Pearl remembers herself and her role. “Of-of course, my Diamond.” 

It takes her Pearl entirely too long to begin to comply, and once she does, it’s without the slightest efficiency—the way she trembles, how her hands hang like useless rocks over each shard as she bends to pick them up. Yellow’d disincorporate her for it in an instant if there were anyone else to clean this all up. But her Pearl is not _defective_ —and that is more than she can say about any other Gem already on this miserable stars-forsaken planet. (And she’s not waiting for other less pathetic Gems to show up—she wants to get _off_ this world.)

Instead, she growls and zaps some Earth fauna, which promptly combusts into angry smoke.

Out of the corner of her eye, she sees her Pearl wince. Pathetic.

“Shall I d-dispose of them, my Diamond?” the Pearl asks, finally, shaking arms full of shards.

“No.” Why should these miserable Gems that all-but-destroyed Pink get to _rest?_ Why should this whole planet get to rest, with what it did to her? 

(“ _Yellow, why can’t I have my own colony?!”_

“ _Oh fine, Pink…We just discovered a resource-rich planet in the Milky Way called ‘Earth.’ Do you think for once you can act like a Diamond and colonize it?_ ”)

The whole of the Earth should be blown out of the universe.

Perhaps, she thinks, settling into rationality, she can solve two problems with a single solution. Aren’t five Rubies fused together stronger than a single Ruby fusion? And if that’s the case, thousands of shards… _millions_ of shards….?

“Add them to the pile of shards of Rebel Gems we’ve acquired,” Yellow continues. “And contact a team of Peridots to begin to research shard fusion, and the weaponization thereof.”

* * *

Pink’s defective guard and entourage—those of them that weren’t shattered—sit in a holding cell for weeks before they begin to re-form. And when the first of them does, a Jasper Quartz, it is only Yellow’s looming appearance that silences her wailing.

“My-My Diamond!” She hastily brings herself to stand, swallows her sobs and brings her lumbering hands into a salute from the other side of the force-field.

“But I’m _not_ your Diamond, am I, Jasper?” Yellow’s voice is dangerously quiet. “ _Your_ Diamond was _shattered_ because _you_ were too _weak_ to protect her, isn’t that right?”

“I…” The Jasper bows her head. “I should be destroyed.”

“Perhaps. But that’s a mercy you don’t deserve.” She pauses. “The sole purpose of your existence from this moment forward is to avenge her. Do I make myself clear?”

“Y-Yes, my Diamond.”

“You will become a part of _my_ Court, you will assist wherever possible in Project Cluster on which you will be briefed, you will do whatever it is you can to ensure the return of something like order to our society in light of what your incompetence has caused, and, most importantly, should the opportunity present itself, you will apprehend and _shatter_ the traitor Rose Quartz! Is that clear?”

“Yes, my Diamond.”

“Good.” A pause. “You will stay here for several more cycles and brief these other defective Gems as they begin to re-form, after which you will be released and assigned.”

The Jasper’s eyes flit quickly to the piles of disincorporated Gemstones at her feet on either side of her and her face falls slightly—is that a flicker of fear? “Y-Yes, my Diamond.”

 _Defective_ , as she had thought. Quartzes shouldn’t feel fear. 

Quartzes shouldn’t feel. 

Gems shouldn’t feel. 

These _emotions_ serve no purpose, are a waste of resources. What good had they done for Pink? What good do they do for their society at all, other than rob them of a _second_ Diamond, the way Blue is huddled in her chambers, with an aura of grief so strong that even Yellow can’t bear approach her. Two Courts— _millions_ of Gems—now totally in disarray, and for _what_? 

_Someone_ has to be rational in this stars-forsaken universe.

As she turns on her heels, leaving the Jasper in a shaky salute, Yellow grits her teeth with resolution.

* * *

The shard fusion _screams_. 

“Again.”

Her Pearl nods—less hesitant now, desensitized—but doesn’t voice her compliance, senses perhaps that her Diamond wants to forget that she’s not alone. (Pearls are possessions. When needed, they can also be objects. Good ones know when without having to be told.) The Pearl reaches again for the button to run the experiment that the Peridot facet-leader had queued, one of the last before they return to Earth and inject the latter-stage experiments, then the Cluster itself, into the Earth’s core to incubate.

( _Are you sure you don’t want me to demonstrate it for you again myself, my Diamond?_ the Peridot had asked.

 _Yes. That will be all_. Yellow clapped.)

Her Pearl presses the button, and again the shard fusion reforms, a multitude of voices—almost blended together but not quite, slightly dissonant—cry out in agony. It doesn’t form words. They’re _shards_ , after all, they lack cognition. But this… _thing_ can still make sounds, can apparently still feel pain.

After a moment, the destabilizer kicks in, and the fusion experiment is disincorporated, silent.

“Again.”

Once more, the fusion springs into physical form, wails.

“You were supposed to keep her safe!” Yellow shrieks at the mass squirming into life across the force-field, slamming her fist against the control panel. 

_Wailing._

“All of you…”

_Agony._

“…were supposed to keep her…”

 _Screaming._

“ _SAFE!_ ”

Her own words echo back at her as the experiment, again destabilized, clatters to the ground.

* * *

As she blasts the Earth with light and sound with the other Diamonds (the other _remaining_ Diamonds), Yellow _screams_.

* * *

_Before_ , Blue loved music, would constantly order her Pearl to sing. The dainty tunes would annoy Yellow to no end. Such frivolity. Such sentimentality. 

(Though if her own Pearl is to be believed, Blue hasn’t ordered a song in the three thousand years since it happened, now sits in dour silence.)

Yellow has never ordered her Pearl to _sing_ ; she has other means of entertainment.

“My Diamond,” her Pearl begins. “If all Amethysts are Quartzes, and all Quartzes are soldiers, then—”

“All Amethysts are soldiers.” Yellow responds lazily. They’ve worked through rhetorical arguments of the highest-ranking Zircons in both her own Court and Blue’s, reduced them to abstractions of premises and implications, then analyzed them. They’ve reviewed geometric proofs utilized as part of Peridots’ drafting processes, admired the logic in them, and picked them apart. And today her Pearl is reading her syllogisms. “Pearl, do _try_ to give me something interesting.”

“Yes, my Diamond. If all Nephrites are Gems, and all Gems are able to be shattered, then—”

For an instant, the second premise makes her wince. But then she reminds herself that it’s a _premise_ , just a construct, how ridiculous to get caught up in false _emotions_ of the matter in what is after all a mere logic problem. They’re _beneath_ her, these feelings, pointless. And she is above them, can be above them. She exists as a being of rationality and objectivity alone. 

She says, coolly: “All Nephrites can be shattered.”

* * *

“I believe we should terminate the Cluster,” the Peridot has the audacity to say—this same Peridot who not only managed to fail her mission, but who also stole what had been _Pink’s_ direct Diamond communicator and decided to _use_ it.

“Why?” Yellow asks, voice dangerous.

The Peridot babbles on about the organic ecosystem, unique resources, potential.

(“ _Organic life on Earth is beautiful, Yellow! Precious! Unique! I don’t want to go through with the colonization!_ ”

“ _You’ll finish what you started, Pink!_ ”)

“I’ve heard enough!” Yellow snaps. “I don’t _care_ about potential and resources. I want my Cluster. And I want that planet to _die_! Just make that happen.”

“No!”

(“ _No!_ ”)

“Are you questioning my authority?!”

“I’m questioning your objectivity…my Diamond.”

Her Pearl gasps. 

Yellow grits her teeth, stands at last, causing her Pearl—who knows her and knows what these gestures mean—to shrink away. The Peridot should thank the stars that she is not here, that it’s the communicator and not her Gemstone in Yellow’s hand. “You are out of line!”

“I just think—”

 _She_ thinks?! She _thinks?!_ Does this common Peridot, this _nothing_ of a Gem, think that _she_ is more objective than her Diamond? How _dare_ she! “I’m not interested in the _puny_ thoughts of a Peridot!”

“But—”

She _is_ objective. The Earth _deserves_ to die! It’s justice! Or, it’s _consequence_ , simple cause and effect. If A, then B. If the Earth destroys a Diamond, then the Earth will be destroyed. Logical. How dare the Peridot suggest otherwise! 

Yellow snarls: “You have disrespected this channel and my time with your presence, and you would do well to—”

The Cluster _deserves_ to—

“But—”

“SHUT YOUR MOUTH! You have failed at every stage of this mission! Your only chance to _redeem_ yourself is to obey this simple order! You are to leave the Cluster to grow! It will tear apart the Earth, and I will take _immense_ satisfaction in erasing that hideous rock off of our star map! Is that clear?!” 

“I won’t do it! I can tell you with certainty that there are things on this planet worth protecting!”

Certainty? _Certainty_?! From a Peridot who was made long after Pink was shattered, who has no idea what this planet has done to their society?! Who apparently has no conception of the premises?! “What do _you_ know about the Earth?!”

“Apparently more than you, you CLOD!” the Peridot shouts, then hastily ends the transmission. 

The insubordination, while nearly unheard of, doesn’t rock her as much as the implication that she’s not _objective_ , that she’s motivated by _emotion._

The Peridot will be shattered regardless.

“Pearl, detonate that communicator!” Yellow orders, still on her feet, eyes bulging. 

“Yes, my Diamond.” 

Her Pearl has the good sense to remain silent after complying.

* * *

When they return from the recess, Yellow sits in her Courtroom Throne and crosses her arms. The fact that Rose Quartz is still sitting there, whole and unshattered is frankly ridiculous. ( _She’d_ wanted to shatter her the instant that she was apprehended—and then again when they’d seen the abomination of a form that the strata-Gem had the gall to appear in, and yet _again_ when she’d _confessed_ —but Blue had insisted on a trial. Yellow had agreed, reluctantly—even though she could already feel the satisfying _crack_ of the Rose Quartz Gemstone splintering in her grip—in the hopes that it would give Blue something like closure, and then they could _finally_ move on from this ordeal.)

“At the time that Pink was shattered,” the Zircon continues, admittedly less bumbling than before, but nonetheless entrenched in a futile exercise. “Rose Quartz had been a recognized threat for several hundred years. There were no Rose Quartz soldiers in her entourage and none in her guard.”

Yellow raises her eyebrow. 

“So _how_ did a Rose Quartz, with no business being anywhere _near_ Pink Diamond get so close in the first place?”

Clearly because her guards were incompetent, _defective_ , Yellow thinks. Failed at their one purpose for existence. 

They were supposed to keep her _safe_. It’s _their_ fault.

“Where were Pink Diamond’s attendants? Her Agates? Her Sapphires? And where was her Pearl?”

Yellow thinks of that grubby Ruby, that pathetic Jasper. _Defective! Their fault! How dare they?! How dare this Zircon even question it!_ “They were with her, of course, they saw the whole thing!”

“But none of them saw Rose Quartz approach? Wouldn’t her Sapphires have seen Rose Quartz coming? Wouldn’t her Agates have tried to fight her off?”

“She must have slipped past them!” _Their fault!_

It’s just _logic_ , a rational argument, Yellow reminds herself. If A, then B. Simple premises and implications. 

“Even if she did,” the Zircon counters. “Wouldn’t her Pearl have cried out in alarm? ‘ _Watch out my Diaaaamodddd!_ ’”

_It’s Pink’s Pearl’s fault!_

(If a Gem gives a warning, Yellow abstracts, then other Gems should heed it.)

(“ _This Rose Quartz is really strong, Yellow, I don’t know if I can—_ ”

“ _Toughen up, Pink! Act like a Diamond, and control your colony!_ ”)

“No.” The Zircon’s voice settles onto something like certainty. “Whoever did this was already close to Pink Diamond. Someone her guards would allow to get near her.”

 _Her guards—their fault_!

(If a Gem is close to another Gem, Yellow abstracts, then she should be able to anticipate threats to that Gem.)

“Someone she would listen to when asked to stop her palanquin and step outside, and someone with the authority to cover it up afterward!” 

_Her entourage!_

(If a Gem has authority, then other Gems rely on her.)

“Someone with _supreme_ authority!”

 _Her—her—her_ …

(If a Diamond has authority, then other Gems rely on her. If a Diamond is— _was_ —close to another Gem, then she should— _should have_ —been able to anticipate threats to her. If Pink gave a warning, then Yellow should— _should have_ —heeded it…)

(If she is a Diamond, and she didn’t do any of these things, then…)

“Someone like, ONE OF YOU!”

(…then it’s _her fault_.)

_My fault!_

_Me!_

Blue’s Zircon disincoporates into smoke under her finger, but Yellow hardly feels it, the way her Gemstone and mind are buzzing. When her own Zircon dares to speak to her—to _gloat_ —that rage explodes out of her, destabilizes the Zircon in an instant. 

_Me_ , she thinks. _My fault. Me, me, me._

* * *

She’s not as surprised as perhaps she should be when the Cluster attacks her ship. 

It forms a hand to match the shape of her vessel, punches at her—like an indictment—before it grabs at the ship.

 _You_ , it seems to accuse. _You. You._

 _Me,_ Yellow thinks. _Me. Me._

Millions of shards crying out in agony—they’d cried out in agony, _then_ , too—still loyal to their Diamond. Still trying to attack the cause of her demise. 

They’re not entirely as defective, this time. (Too late.)

Her ship crashes to the water, shatters into pieces. Shards of useless yellow litter the beach.

**Author's Note:**

> @Monochromley: Happy holidays! I really hope you enjoyed! It was a fun challenge for me to get into the headspace of a Diamond—it's not what I'm naturally drawn to write in this fandom, as you know, and I feel like I grew a bit in my understanding of Yellow Diamond's character in the process of writing this.
> 
> (Also, I maybe went overboard here. I know we said that no upward limit...but I didn't intend for this to get this long lol. Just kinda got into it...)
> 
> @everyone Hope you enjoyed! I love comments!!! Happy holidays, and HAPPY DIAMOND DAYS!!!


End file.
